Well, I have finally figured out a mystery that has been perplexing man since the dawn of time: the real reason women get a big oversized belly when they are expecting. Most of you,that know me, know that I'm a pretty easy person to be around, a whole lot easier to live with(got that Charissa?),and most of the time fun loving, without one single ounce of sarcasm in my finely chisled body. BUT, sometimes I forget that Charissa is carrying our next sweet little bundle of joy, Jax 2, and I will say something "cute" that will trigger a prime evil response in Charissa that I have never seen. Imagine a verbal stoning coupled with rays of death being shot from her pretty brown eyes deep into my good hearted soul.
So back to my discovery. At any good business worth their salt, be it a barn, factory or pub there will always be warning signs posted about not pushing the red button, looking directly into lazer, or that alchol can cause liver damage and make your jokes seem funnier than they are. I had been wishing for some time that someone would develope a sign to remind me that Charissa, or any other PYT(Pretty Young Thing, for those not growing up in the Michael Jackson era) for that matter, was expecting (before she started to show) so I would know to be exceedingly more careful about getting the backlash of a horomonal tidal wave. I tried getting Charissa to wear a sign or some kind of a flashing light to remind me to keep my witty ways in check, and allowing me to stay out of arm swinging reach, but she was having none of that.
Then it dawned on me that the big man upstairs had already developed a warning moniter that I have been missing, the big pregnant belly! So guys PLEASE remember to THINK seriously about what words are about to fall from your mouth before you speak, because even if we think it's funny, and it probably is, she will not find humor in your cute sarcastic comments, gauranteed. After all, YOU are the one that got her in that position and it will be only a few more months until you get back your fun loving sweety pie that is willing to tolerate your rare gift of sarcasm without the stones being hurled in your direction.
Remember the belly IS the warning and it sure beats the heck out of asking them to wear a bumper sticker. Charissa, you know I love you and always will.
hanks for letting me laugh and joke about our life, and for only throwing small stones. XOXOXT
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