Babies and Anti-Gravity Matter?

I'm sure that most of you who have kids have had the unexplainable joy of having to clean up your sweet precious babies when they have, what we at the Kutie household call, a diaper blowout. Now I'm not just talking about the average run of the mill little baby dump, I'm talking about the kind of dump that explodes in their diaper and slightly shakes the house; the kind that covers themselves, as well as their clothes, along with anyone or anything that might be remotley close with a poopy slime that looks pretty similar to the green slime I remember them dumping over people that were unsuspecting on Nickelodian. Our little bundle of joy, Baby Jax, seems to have the ability to take a crap that not only fills the diaper, but also any clothing that he might be wearing and all the way up his hairy little back onto his neck. In additon, he has the ability to take a leak that must be like one of the fancy fountians in Vegas. You know the ones that shoot streams of water hundreds of feet in the air all cheorographed to music? It's like that, but minus the music. In the beginning, I just thought that he was sweaty due in part to the super warm weather that we have been having in North Texas for January, but turns out that it was just a frontal blow out that nearly hit him in the chin and soaked his KPH onesie. I guess my mom had been struggling with the blowout issue in her own way. When we went to change Jax's diaper one morning we found out that she, intending to or not, double diapered him. I guess this was an attempt to help contain the blow out? The last time we suffered a blow out, we had to resort to what I thought was only true in stories, or maybe an urban legend, and hose him off in the shower in an effort to remove a pretty heavy layer of baby poo just so we would be able to handle him, change clothes, and apply a new turd catcher. Maybe duct tape around the waist would work as a remedy. Either way, I've come to the conclusion that the laws of physics and the theory of gravity do not apply to babies, since they can squirt poo up their back while sitting straight up. I could understand if I carried him upside down by his feet and it ran down his back, but Charissa asked me to stop carrying him that way cause he was getting rug burns on his forehead (only because I'm low to the ground or vertically challanged, whichever you prefer). So do our sweet little alien babies possibly hold the key to Anti-Gravity? I just ask you to look at the facts.